Candy Cleaning

After dinner tonight we let the girls each pick a candy from their Halloween bags. At the rate they are going, they should be good for candy until 2023. Kaylee dumped out her bag on the living room rug to pick just the right one. After the long ritual of choosing, Kaylee began the process of putting her candy back in her bag. Some of the candy had come loose from bags and wrappers. Each of these loose candies she licked before returning to the bag. I noticed this process taking place.

"Kaylee, why are licking your candies before you put them away?" I asked.

"'Cause I want to make sure they are clean for next time," she explained.

Okay.

So, just by way of warning, if Kaylee offers you a candy from her Halloween bag in the next few weeks, take one that's in a wrapper.

God Gum

This morning I was playing with the girls. Emily said “You are God’s wife, and I’m a baby angel.” Kaylee said, “I’m God, and I’m chewing God gum.” (Because she had a gum ball). Emily, who also had a gum ball said, ”I’m chewing baby angel gum.”

I have strange children!

Frightening Grace

I suddenly found myself on the other side of the equation. You know how it goes. There’s the “people in need” and then there’s me. My job is to help the “people in need” (whatever that means). That’s fine. That’s how I like it. Where I feel secure, in control, independent, a-okay. Maybe, if I’m honest, a bit superior.

Then something slips, and you feel less in control, less capable, a bit worn down and no end in sight.

But then it gets worse. People start helping you.

The dawning horror: I’ve become a “people in need”, somehow at the mercy of others. If I look around I see it’s true. And I sense the grace my community is extending me. Undeserved, free gifts all around. What could be better? I hate it. It feels so…needy, so weak. Maybe just a little too close to home. But this uncomfortable feeling has a bit of a familiar signature to it. That God-poking-at-something feeling. How prideful am I?

Why is grace, fully undeserved, wholly unearned, completely unrelenting, so terrifying?